homosexual-toaster
darthrader:

mother-venus:

callitrichidae:

Fuck this postFuck this post so much.You want a “Why not?”How about the way your best friend’s older sister will throw up by the side of the road because she’s crying so hard How about the way your best friend will sob for weeks in her showers, in her bedroom, in the bathroom at schoolHow about the way your mother will cry every time she looks at herself in the mirror and pictures herself bringing you homeHow about the way your father’s eyes will NEVER stop mirroring the image of your hanging bodyHow about the way your boyfriend will sit in his room in silence, unable to eat or sleep, or even to fucking shower, because why would he want to continue without youHow about the way the girl who called you a brother will start crying every time she sees your parentsHow about the way your family will sit in your house after the funeral looking blankly at one another, because god knows they can’t find a fucking thing to say that doesn’t just float through the air where you should be walkingHow about the way your sister will wake up every morning and see your door and convince herself that you could still be there, just sleeping in your bedHow about the way your ex girlfriend will come over and pull your clothes from the drawers and cry while she holds them desperately to her face to breathe in what’s left of you
Don’t you dare tell me it won’t change thingsThere may be stars in the sky and wind in the air and sun in the cloudsBut without you we do not want them
Don’t you dare be selfish enough to believe you aren’t important to us
So fuck this postand fuck this romanticism of suicideand fuck you for leaving my sister to cry in her room when she thinks nobody can hear

bless this reblog

holy shit

darthrader:

mother-venus:

callitrichidae:

Fuck this post
Fuck this post so much.
You want a “Why not?”
How about the way your best friend’s older sister will throw up by the side of the road because she’s crying so hard
How about the way your best friend will sob for weeks in her showers, in her bedroom, in the bathroom at school
How about the way your mother will cry every time she looks at herself in the mirror and pictures herself bringing you home
How about the way your father’s eyes will NEVER stop mirroring the image of your hanging body
How about the way your boyfriend will sit in his room in silence, unable to eat or sleep, or even to fucking shower, because why would he want to continue without you
How about the way the girl who called you a brother will start crying every time she sees your parents
How about the way your family will sit in your house after the funeral looking blankly at one another, because god knows they can’t find a fucking thing to say that doesn’t just float through the air where you should be walking
How about the way your sister will wake up every morning and see your door and convince herself that you could still be there, just sleeping in your bed
How about the way your ex girlfriend will come over and pull your clothes from the drawers and cry while she holds them desperately to her face to breathe in what’s left of you

Don’t you dare tell me it won’t change things
There may be stars in the sky and wind in the air and sun in the clouds
But without you we do not want them

Don’t you dare be selfish enough to believe you aren’t important to us

So fuck this post
and fuck this romanticism of suicide
and fuck you for leaving my sister to cry in her room when she thinks nobody can hear

bless this reblog

holy shit

What it’s like loving you

hi.
it’s a simple phrase, right?
but I’ve noticed that
whenever you say it
something is wrong
and I’m scared
I’m fucking scared
because noticing these little things
about you
means I like you
and I do
I really fucking like you
I might actually love you
and that scares the shit out of me
because my bed feels empty now
even though I don’t know
what it would feel like with you in it
and I crave your arms around me
even though I don’t know your touch
and I want to kiss you so bad
even though
I don’t know what you taste like
and that is horrifying
missing someone I’ve never met
it’s horrifying
because what if you leave me?
what then?
I’ll have nothing to miss
I’ll have no good dates to look back on
because all we have are texts
and facetimes
and i won’t be able to miss your hugs
because you’ve never hugged me
and every night
I’ll have this nagging hole in me
because I’ll check my phone for texts from you
and there won’t be any
and I’ll be so used to having them
I’ll keep checking
and every time I turn on that bright fucking screen
that makes my eyes hurt
I’ll be reminded that you’re gone
and it’ll probably be my fault, too.

hi.
it’s a simple phrase.
it could be a greeting,
a casual conversation starter
but for you it means
“I don’t have the energy to type hey because I’m so emotionally drained
and I need you to help me.”
I figured that out.
and I want to help you.
but you know what?
I can’t.
I can’t help you.
I can’t walk to your house in the middle of the night
and take your blade away from you
your lighter
your scissors
whatever the fuck you’re using to break yourself
I can’t stop you
And that terrifies me
because when you tell me
that that’s what you want to do
I get dizzy
and I feel like I’m going to throw up
but all I can do
is ask you not to
is beg you not to do this to yourself
but for all I know
you already have
and I am fucking scared out of my mind
because I love you
and I don’t want you to leave me
mostly because I don’t know what you’re leaving
maybe to you I’m just some girl that you text every night
maybe I’m just one of many
oh god it makes me sick to think that
but to me
you’re more than a screen
you’re my life
you’re my everything
you’re the only one
and you’re the moon
because despite being so far away
and having so many flaws
you still manage to light up this side of the world
in times of darkness
and I love you
I love you
so
fucking
much